Happiness is never the byproduct.
Have you ever noticed that people have made happiness something that is contingent upon something else? Most people will not be happy unless they receive a promotion, unless they get married or unless they have a million dollars. These are just a few conditions out of countless others that people feel would make them happy, but notice that it is their CHOICE to withhold happiness from themselves, until they receive what they want.
Most people are unhappy because they don’t understand that happiness in actuality, is the cause, while the byproduct, is the effect. It is your choice to be happy. Nothing and no one can choose it for you, which is why in most cases, people receive what they want but still feel empty. Happiness is literally an inside job. This clearly demonstrates that unhappiness is more of a personal discontent with something inside of ourselves.
At the root of anything that makes us react in a negative or positive manner, it always goes back to the root of being at peace with yourself and completely accepting who you are. The reason many believe that obtaining something will make them happy, is because subconsciously, they believe that they’re insufficient as they are. For something or someone outside of you to make you happy, is to agree with a subconscious belief (that you may not be aware of) that you aren’t whole.
When one has fully accepted who they are, and they are at peace with themselves, true happiness is found. The feeling from receiving something pleasant, can also be confused with finding happiness, when it is really temporary gratification. If the feelings can wear off, it’s not true happiness. When we realize that we are enough as we are, we don’t need a reason outside of ourselves to make us happy. Happiness, just like matter, can not be created, nor destroyed. Just like darkness can not exist without the absence of light, being unhappy is the absence of gratitude.
People have been conditioned by their environment to look outside of themselves. Notice that for the most part, we don’t notice that something is missing within ourselves, until we look else where. We are perfectly happy and content with ourselves and the world around us. When you observe children, they are the happiest human beings on the planet, until someone gives them a suggestion for why they shouldn’t be.
When we are born, our eyes are not trained to see “lack” . Everything outside of us should be regarded as something to amplify the happiness that is already present in us. As we mature to the age of being able to communicate and receive suggestions, we are influenced by others who have been conditioned to believe that the only way to be happy is to look outside of ourselves. We are taught to believe that we aren’t enough. After years of being repeatedly reminded of this, this belief was eventually accepted as truth.
Ideas are not changed by the will, but by other ideas. This thought pattern can be changed if we take the time to reflect about why we don’t like certain things about our own selves. Is it because of something someone pointed out? Is it because you failed in recreating a feeling you observed in someone else, and they happen to possess something you don’t have? Or do you really believe you were born flawed?
Being able to rationalize and boil down to a bottom line why you feel this way, can extinguish the discontent you may feel with yourself. Beliefs are not facts, beliefs can be changed. We can find happiness within, when we stop looking at ourselves from a lens outside of us.