The hardest part about change is believing that it’s possible.
We try to begin new habits, just to end up right back where we started. We invest in self help books, we even attend self help and empowerment seminars. Everything goes well, until something is triggered in us.
Those triggers are trying to tell us something about the already accepted beliefs that we have about ourselves, which is the root of why these triggers derail us from turning over a new leaf. Even in my own experience, I realized that I could not change until I came face to face with what I believed to be true about myself.
I thought that the “symptoms” were the problem, instead of focusing on the cause of the “problem”. After countless efforts and continual failure, I began to realize that I was trying to fix the “sink” instead of fixing the “well”.
I was trying to change my outer world before tending to the very thing that was the cause of my outward circumstance…myself!
I was bound by years of “environmental conditioning” at the hands of my parents, my family, my friends, the school system and the coworkers at my job but most importantly, I was bound by what I accepted as truth about me, although it did not originate with me. I was being limited by my own subconscious beliefs in myself.
I could not break free from my own “self programming” the beliefs I accepted about myself as a result of “environmental conditioning”. It was conflicting with the new patterns I was trying to cultivate. I was at war with accepting the truth about where I was in life and why I was there, in relation to how my mind was previously conditioned.
Who we think we are, is the main cause of the decisions we make, how we see life and what we believe is possible. If we are told we can’t do a certain thing, that we are better of doing “this” over “that”, we limit ourselves.
From the very first day we emerged from the womb and took our first breath on this planet, we were limitless. Before anyone told us what we could or could not do, what was acceptable and what wasn’t, the world and everything in it was ours.
The root of Depression and anxiety comes from inner conflicting beliefs, our self limitations and expectations of ourselves. We have this image of ourselves subconsciously rooted in our minds and any action or aspirations that we try to manifest are met with inner conflict or dissolved altogether.
Race, religion, vocation, where we come from…we must understand that those things are not who we truly are. When we cling to those things, they will both empower and limit us. We cling to those things because deep down inside, we believe that we are nothing without them…but the truth is, without them, we are more. We are limitless.
The truth about who we truly are is this…we are the very thing that makes our heart jump for joy. We are the very thing that we want to see more of in the world. We are what we believe that we are lacking. We confuse our identity when other things that are not us, become our identity. We lose our power when we try to draw power from things, that are not us. Realizing this is the first step.
Life is a mirror and it reflects to us where we are in life. Our circumstances, as well as the people around us, are showing us the mirror of where we are inwardly. We must see and accept this first before we can let go of who we think we are.
We may not like what we see when we take this step in realizing this truth, but this is the beginning. Change starts from the inside, before our circumstances will reflect what we really want to see in our own individual world. If you want your life to change, change how you see yourself and change the expectations that you have of yourself.
You are who YOU believe you are, not who others have told you that you are. You may ask the question “how can I tell the difference between who I think I am, and the person I believe that I am as a result of what others have told me I am?” The answer is found when you ask yourself these two question… “will I be judged if I choose to do the opposite?” and “how will it effect me if this person reacts negatively to my personal choice?”
Until we have consciously observed our own thinking and beliefs about ourselves, we will continue to be a result of “environmental conditioning”. Every thought that we think in relation to ourselves should be challenged, before being accepted as truth.
What we believe to be true about ourselves may not to be true at all, but it becomes truth the moment it goes unchallenged and accepted as true. When you hear a certain something repeated on the consistent basis without examining it, eventually it becomes accepted as truth.
When a new concept is introduced, it is often rejected as being false as a result of the subconscious beliefs that we hold true about ourselves, unless it agrees with the beliefs that we already believe to be true about ourselves.
Steps to identifying conditioned beliefs and letting go
1. Set aside at least 10 seconds to 10 minutes a day to examine your thoughts, without interruption.
In the beginning, this step may be difficult if your mind is constantly cluttered throughout the day with conflicting thoughts, hence the time range of starting from 10 seconds to an 10 minutes a day.
If you can concentrate solely on this step for 10 seconds, continue for a longer time period or until your concentration is broken. Restart again when you’re able to concentrate.
While you are examining your thoughts, pin point the source of the thought and whether it originated from you or if it came from someone else as a result of “environmental conditioning”.
2. Question every belief that you discover.
Once you’re able to pin point a belief, ask yourself “how does this belief serve me in relation to where I ultimately want to be?” Also, ask yourself “does this belief line up with my goals or does it limit me?” Lastly, ask yourself “ does this belief empower me or does it make me doubt myself?”
3. Let go of every thought that doesn’t serve you or your new goals.
The first thing we all do when trying to get rid of negative or old thoughts is by trying to fight them. By fighting them, we are concentrating on the negative thought. This is the main reason why they never leave.
You get rid of old thinking patterns by replacing them with new thoughts. Every time the old thought rears its ugly head, hold the image in your mind of the “you” that you are trying to cultivate.
Our emotions are our biggest ally and detection system. Thoughts that go unchecked, take root in our minds and eventually work themselves in our continual conscious thought process, before manifesting in the outside world with our words and actions.
When you start to feel bad, that’s your cue to replace the current thought with the image of what makes you feel good. The thought of the “you” that you are cultivating. We let go, by replacing our old thoughts with the new thoughts of who it is that we want to be.
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